The New York Times is our most highly respected newspaper
With eye-ball grabbing headlines, its content highly dapper.
But it is their bottom-lines that have to be watched in the last.
Look for bottom lines like those that speak of a cabbies forecast
Borne out by geopolitical developments, leaving you completely aghast.
Then there are people dead, survived by son by first marriage
And second wife Mary, surely an interesting situation at any age.
A celebrity plans to quit career to do own things he loved, really
Like things such as raising family, going to school, however silly.
Of course we love their headlines shining on the outside wrapper
But it is the last lines that take the cake making the paper dapper.
The poor bridegroom is the son of Barbara and Stan Miller of Avon
It is not his fault his dad is the founder of a hedge fund in Darien.
The bride, who until recently ,had a job as a pilates instructor
The marriage has primarily acted for her as a career destructor.
The paper is known for its celebration of the English tongue
Its grammar and usage have won kudos in every parlor and lounge
NYU isn’t likely to please Greenwich Village residents anytime soon.
It cannot help if this novel usage makes our grammar teacher swoon.
Here is a list of popular endings to New York Times pieces. It’s totally free.
